Hi kids! It’s been a while but as we move into 2013, I’ve
had a few interesting things in the works that have now come to fruition.
First, I’ve started my own fashion styling business. Second, I’m also working
as a bridal consultant, something I’m so excited about simply because now I can
say I’m watching “Say Yes To The Dress” for ‘research purposes’. LOL. Anyway,
at the end of this month, I’m also doing a photoshoot with SchlickArt, which
I’m nervous about for a variety of reasons. Which brings me to the “New
Perspective” part of this blog.
I’m sure you all know by now, whether through personal
conversations or through a few of my videos, that I’ve struggled with my weight
pretty much all my life. And coming out of the holidays, it’s no surprise that
I put on some weight again after all the goodies that have been abundantly
around. In the past, I’ve done Weight Watchers, which really did work, then I
just got lazy and fell back into my old bad habits. I won’t even mention all
the other shit I’ve tried over the years to lose weight. Either way, I’m not
exactly comfortable at the weight I’m at right now. This ties back around to
the photoshoot that’s coming up in a few weeks. I’ve debated taking diet pills
to get me down 15 pounds by the end of the month, drinking nothing but diet
juices, yada, yada. But you know what? I love food too much to starve myself.
I’m too old for that shit anymore. I get too damn cranky if I go without
eating. But what about those pictures that will be around forever and ever??
Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to after getting super depressed and anxious
over just thinking about not eating the food I love anymore. Fuck it. I’m
letting it go…for now. I want to get back on Weight Watchers again and document
my journey. It’s not going to be easy. But that’s for later.
Right now, today, I’m going to stop eating only junk food because I think for some
reason I won’t ever have it again and just start to eat normally again. Truth
be told, the whole purpose of this photoshoot is for REAL women to appreciate
themselves as they are IN THAT MOMENT. So it doesn’t matter how much I weigh,
or if I’m breaking out, I’ll look the best I can at that time and show myself
that I’m still one sexy thang, even with a few extra pounds on my body. After
all, my worth should NOT be based on a number on the scale, yet I’ve allowed it
to. So for this photoshoot, I think it’s going to be my most raw one to date. I’m
scared as all shit, but in that fear I’m hoping to discover a little more self
love. I need to practice what I preach and I’m not always the best at loving
myself when I’m down. So stay tuned to see the photos and video of the shoot.
And I encourage you to reexamine your perspective about yourself and body
image. EVERY woman I have ever come across has some type of issue with her
body. Why? Why do we focus so much on our flaws and not see how damn sexy we
are??
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