My Journey - Update 3

Up until yesterday (and I’m sure I’ll have my days hereafter as well) I was cranky as all hell, pissy, upset and pessimistic that I was doing this weight-loss/confidence-building journey, because, who was I kidding? I couldn’t do this! Why do I have to be the one who can’t lose weight? I even told my trainer yesterday that I was this close to skipping his workout and getting a big glass of alcohol (Bridesmaids reference J) and a burger instead. But, I decided that I’d workout and if I still wanted it after, I’d get it. But get this...afterwards, I was so proud that I finished the grueling workout on the beach that not only did I not crave it, I didn’t want to eat badly either because I just put so much effort in and no way was I going to sabotage myself. 

The past few weeks have been very difficult because I was PMSing, and with that comes increased hormones (much more so as I’ve gotten older) that lead to all kinds of emotions. And well, I’m an emotional eater. But I just kept going and eating and tracking my food (Weight Watchers) and going to the support groups and working out with people I really enjoy and who support me. My trainer even told me to go off of carbs for a week which caused decreased energy and crankiness. But I did it. And you know what? I woke up this morning and weighed myself anyway even though I really thought I wasn’t going to like what I saw (I do it every week, same day, right after I get up) and to my surprise I’m finally under 150 pounds. Shock and happiness overcame me. You know why? Because after all that negative self-talk of “I can’t do this”, I was actually doing it! Seeing even a slight decrease made all the difference in my attitude. And when I actually did the math and saw how much I’ve lost since I’ve started this process, it’s been a whopping 11.8 pound weight loss thus far. I still have a ways to go, but hot damn I’m doing it!! What a difference a day makes. And as I’ve said before, some days I think I can, some days I think I can’t, but either way, I just keep doing. So, I say the same to you. Just keep doing. It also helps that I have wonderful people as support. So find your support system and do it. I swear it works, although not as fast as you may want it to. It’s a process, it’s a journey and you know what, I’ll get there when I get there. But I feel stronger and healthier than I have in a long time and I’m not even near the weight I was before. There really is something to living a healthy lifestyle to be healthy and not just to lose weight. Oh, and it helps to have a goal too. So, mine is Vegas at the end of July. Now, my goal isn't to have a perfect body, it's to get under a certain weight and body fat percentage. And as long as I just keep doing, I'm proud of myself because that in and of itself is a habit change for me and I'm so much happier because of it.